Lotus Rising Healing & Wellness

Nana Kim's Chicken Soup

10/10/2017

Ever since I can remember, when any of us in my family gets the slightest sign of sickness, I start a pot of Nana Kim's chicken soup. Kim is married to my husband's father and she is a kitchen magician goddess:). Not only is her chicken soup delicious (my kids get so happy when I make it), it is medicinal. I grew up with a mom who also made chicken soup when we were growing up. I always knew this dish as "Jewish penicillin." BTW, my mom's version was delicious too, I just never learned to make it, before I got my hands on Kim's recipe:). I never really knew why we called it "Jewish Penicillin" until I started studying natural health. This is a truly anti-viral, cold and flu busting food! I love that people used to understand the medicinal qualities of foods. I'm sad that we have largely lost that art in our culture. Hippocrates, the father of medicine, said, "Let food be thy medicine and the let medicine be thy food."

I will share the recipe in case you want to just get that pot of soup cooking, and below the recipe, I will share more about the medicinal aspects of this "oh so comforting," soup.

The original recipe is Kim's Chicken Noodle Soup. Just for the record, I have always used rice, gluten free noodles or, often, I just leave out rice or noodles for a no-carb version. It tastes great all three ways so you can choose which version is best for you.

Ingredients:

1 3 - 4 pound chicken, shredded
2 32 ounce boxes chicken broth
2 TBS olive oil or ghee
5 stalks celery, diced
4 - 5 carrots, diced
2 cups broccoli (I often also add chard)
1/4 cup lemon juice, from fresh lemons
2 TBS parsley, chopped
1 TBS dried basil
1 tsp thyme
1/2 tsp rosemary
2 - 4 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp cracked pepper, or to taste (use freshly cracked pepper)
1 tsp salt (use Real Salt™, Celtic or Himalayan), add more if desired for taste
1 12 oz. package egg noodles, I find it's best to cook noodles al dente before adding.
Additional water as needed to make soup desired consistency

Directions:

Remove skin (& fat) from chicken and rinse thoroughly. In six quart pan, cook chicken in 2 qts. water until done, about 1/2 hour. Alternatively, you can bake the chicken with skin on, seasoned, in the oven at 350 degrees for about one and half hours.

Remove chicken from pan and set aside to cool. In large stock pot, add olive oil or ghee. Saute onion, garlic and spices on medium heat until lightly browned, stirring often.

Add chicken broth. When chicken is cool enough to handle, tear meat and discard bones. Add to pot.

Let simmer one hour. Add vegetables. Meanwhile, optionally, cook noodles until soft in a separate pot. Add to soup. Or add 1/2 cup of rice (uncooked). Cook 1/2 hour. As soup cooks, add water to desired consistency.

Garlic is high in Vitamin C, supporting the immune system. In one study, it was shown that daily garlic supplementation reduces the occurrence of colds by 63% and the symptoms of colds, if taken when sick, by 70%. It is also high in a substance called Allicin, giving it potent anti-viral properties.

Lemon is known to be detoxifying, metabolism boosting, immune system supportive and cancer protective. High in Vit. C and D-limonene, ingesting fresh lemon juice daily can help protect against the common cold and flu.

Real Salt (not the refined table salt variety, but pure mined salt) is very high in essential minerals. Dr Linus Pauling, said "We could trace every disease and every ailment to a mineral deficiency." Minerals are important for all systems of the body. They support adrenal function which we can all use more of! Real salt is actually shown to lower blood pressure and improve circulation. I use as much as needed to make the soup salty and delicious. Salt, in the culinary world, is known to pull the flavors out of the other ingredients in any recipe.

Thyme is known to have properties that are antiviral, bactericidal, fungicidal, antibiotic, diuretic, antispasmodic, expectorant, and antiseptic. This makes it useful during cold and flu season. Thyme also helps the body to eliminate toxins and boosts the immune system by supporting the formation of white blood cells, increasing resistance to invading organisms.

Parsley is known to improve liver function and help to detoxify the body which is important when any sickness develops. It is also high in antioxidants and has anti-inflammatory properties. It is also known to properties that protect against certain cancers.

Black Pepper helps the body absorb all the amazing medicinal properties of the ingredients in our food.

Basil can help to remove mucus in the respiratory system. It has anti-viral, anti-bacterial and anti-inflammatory properties. It is commonly used to support the body when their is any sort of throat or lung infection present.

Onions are useful in treating coughs and respiratory ailments.

Rosemary has anti-viral, anti-fungal and anti-bacterial properties to help support the body during cold and flu season. It is also known for it's cancer protective properties.

So, now we know that food actually can medicine if we choose to make use of it in this way! Eat soup, stay well:).

Maria Rippo is a Transformational Healing & Wellness practitioner with an online as well as a local practice in Bothell, WA. She is an Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist and Holistic Coach working towards her Master's degree in Transpersonal Psychology, but mostly, she is a human trying to figure out how to navigate this thing called life. This article Copyright 2016 by Maria Rippo, all right reserved. To replicate or use any portion of this article, please do so in its entirety including this text or contact the author at maria@mariarippo.com.

Interested in working with me? Make a complimentary consultation appointment here http://www.mariarippo.com/book-an-appointment.html

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Make Change with Beginner's Mind

3/26/2017

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Do you struggle with resistance? Do you want to release weight, exercise, feel more energetic, but sabotage any efforts toward these goals? Well, if you are human, you're answer will be a resounding "yes." Anytime we try to make changes, the first thing we will encounter is resistance to that change. This is rooted in our survival wiring. In the past, belonging to a tribe was necessary for survival and so, conformity to that tribe was also integral for us. Changing was a threat to our survival.

Today, it isn't but to our ego, it feels as if it is. Anything we try to do that goes against the core beliefs of our ego identity, will cause resistance. The ego prefers familiarity and works hard to keep us in the status quo, not taking any risks, staying small and safe. So, let's say the ego feels that it is dangerous for you to be all you truly are... anything you do that brings you closer to your light and truth, will be vehemently resisted by your ego. In our world, often it truly isn't safe to be the "greatness" that we are. People are threatened by our greatness. So, we often stay small and feel afraid to change. We get the emotional need of belonging met by staying the same.

So, how to do we get past the inevitable resistance of change? What I have found to be helpful is a concept called 'Beginner's Mind.' You see, when you try to make a change, and then you resist it and do the opposite, you get discouraged and feel like a failure, right? What I have found for myself is that if I get rid of the failure/success mindset and instead, put on "Beginner's Mind," eventually, the changes begin to happen naturally as I allow myself to begin again and again and again in order to find out what will work for me. I have found that as I get older, my Self is less and less willing to make shifts that don't work for me or feel in any way depriving or restrictive.

Beginner's mind is a useful strategy that can help us make changes much more easily. The idea behind this strategy is that you take all of the things you know--all of your brilliant opinions, all of your reason and logic, even your cherished beliefs--and you put all this stuff on the shelf for awhile. (Now, mind you, it will all still be there safe and sound when you get back!)

The idea of beginner's mind is that you temporarily set all this aside, on purpose, for a little while, and just go ahead and do whatever it is you are trying to do, a little at a time--no matter how illogical, or insignificant, or meaningless it may seem to be--merely so that you can see what your experience is and just be present for whatever you experience, the resistance, the urge to do the opposite, the challenge of it all, the joy of doing it, the feelings, the thoughts, the emotions, the body sensations, just be with what is and experience it as though you are a little child experiencing something for the very first time. Be curious, that is all that is required.

When I was resisting exercise in a big way, instead of giving in totally to the resistance, one day, I put my exercise clothes on and drove to the gym. I sat in the parking lot for a bit and then left. That was my experience that day. The next time I was much less resistant to getting that far and I went into the gym for a little while. I sat in the sauna and then left. I played with my resistance. Soon, it felt so good to get to the gym. I still play with this resistance often, but it is easier. I have experienced enough of the reward of feeling good that it is more often that I do some yoga, go for a walk or get to the gym. I like to move my body and if I don't, I feel pain, so now I am more consistent. But I always use Beginner's Mind. It seems to release all that resistance!!

And whenever I find myself back in the resistance (it will happen!!), because I don't see it as failure, I just begin again, again and again and again. And that my friends, is life!!

Maria Rippo is a Transformational Healing & Wellness practitioner with an online as well as a local practice in Bothell, WA. She is an Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist and Holistic Coach working towards her Master's degree in Transpersonal Psychology, but mostly, she is a human trying to figure out how to navigate this thing called life. This article Copyright 2016 by Maria Rippo, all right reserved. To replicate or use any portion of this article, please do so in its entirety including this text or contact the author at maria@mariarippo.com.

Interested in working with me? Make a complimentary consultation appointment here http://www.mariarippo.com/book-an-appointment.html

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How to Make a Big Change in One Minute or Less

10/19/2016

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   If you are like me, change feels overwhelming, like, you have to change everything to change anything. Do you feel like making changes means not having fun, deprivation, restriction? I'm Maria and I'm a self-sabotage researcher. Most of my research is done in the field, if you know what I mean... I am my own best research subject.

   There is so much that goes into changing, but it does not have to feel arduous and depriving. I imagine you're already all too familiar with the pain of staying the same, right? So, here's the deal. Discomfort is going to happen either way. But, what if change meant only being uncomfortable for one minute at a time, could you handle that?

   You see, our brains have a quality known as plasticity. That means they can change. Our habits create neural grooves like water running in one direction might create a stream or a river. If we want to divert that stream or river, we can, but we have to redirect the water. Change involves learning new skills, healing old belief patterns and having lots of courage and... one minute.

   Ok, are you curious? Here's the deal. Anytime you try to do anything that goes against your belief system about yourself, resistance is going to come alive. When I have tried to give up coffee, instead of giving it up, somehow I find myself drinking twice as much. You with me? Trying to give it up doesn't work so well for me. So, what I found to be effective is to invite the resistance. Get to know it. Befriend it. Welcome it. And get curious about it. Watch it. Get intimate with resistance instead of resisting the resistance.

   In the past, when I'd give up coffee and all of sudden realize I'm drinking more than I was before I tried to give it up, I'd use that as ammunition against my own self, "See, you can't get anything right. You are just incapable. You moron." Sound familiar? Well, this only drove me deeper into my shame.

   What I've learned to do instead is to take a one minute mindfulness 'retreat.' I take one step back and watch the whole process. Instead of believing those voices and burying myself in a gallon of despair (chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream), I can observe what is going on. It can be quite funny. I have actually caught myself in a dialogue with food. I have given food an actual voice. Damn, food is seductive! It would relentlessly call my name and seduce me into believing it was my salvation. And I'd fall right back in love, every.single.time, like an abused spouse, believing my abuser was really going to change this time, only to emerge bruised and broken one more time, and another, and another and another...

   I used to punish myself after one of these episodes. "You can't have anything that you enjoy now. You are going off coffee, wine, chocolate, sugar, carbs, cooked food..." And I'd actually do that. I'd deprive myself right into total obsession with food where I couldn't think a thought that wasn't a fantasy about having everything I'd kept myself from eating. I'd also spend so much time creating all this amazing raw-food goodness. If I weren't thinking about it, I was spending time preparing it. ALL.OF.MY.TIME. This is called, NOT LIVING. I mean, imagine what could happen if I put all that time into creating my big life?

   So, I began to observe it all. Honestly, it was a shit show! I began hearing how mean I actually was to myself. If I talked to anyone else that way, they'd run and never, ever want to talk to me again. So, instead of running from those voices, I began taking a minute, just one, and observing all of them and actually welcoming them. I began to realize that the voices I heard after my episodes of perceived failure were the keys to unlock the door to the change I wanted to experience.

   The thing is, when we decide to make a change, we are often stuck in black and white thinking. At first, maybe change is fun. But then doom and gloom set in and we go back to our ingrained habits, the old neural pathways still strong, (and by the way, change never feels fun to me. The second I decide to change is the second I start doing much more of the thing I set out to stop doing). The minute we go back, we feel we've ruined it all and we might as well throw in the towel. And then that voice sings its usual song, "You idiot. You should not have even tried. What's wrong with you? Why even try? You're such a loser." And so our old, comfortable ways rock us back into the illusion that staying the same is just easier.

But if you have a minute, you can interrupt this pattern. There is a technical term for this one minute adventure. It's called the PAUSE. In that pause lies the key to your healing. Listen to the voices. They are the voices of your wounding and in order for you to move beyond this cycle, that shame must be healed. Underneath this shame is the truth of who you are. You are already whole, acceptable, lovable, capable, worthy, deserving and perfect just the way you are.

   What purpose does this shame serve? It is there to keep you safe and small, free from taking any risks and it's biggest tactic is keeping the status quo. So, every time you try to change, this 'safety' is threatened and the security guard in the watchtower sees change as a threat to your survival and calls in the army of shame to keep you from making one more move! This is the survival mechanism's intelligence at work. You see, in times past, if you were not a member of a tribe, you could not survive. So, you had to conform to the ways of the tribe in order to be a part of them. Change threatened your very survival. Although connection and belonging is a survival need still and we very much need to belong and feel connected, our physical survival is not longer dependent on this and we are now free to be who we are, believe our own beliefs and live freely. So, we invite this tactic to do it's thing, and we step back and we observe it!

   In doing so, we begin to dis-identify with our shame-self, false self or what I like to call, The Faults Self (the part of us that believes in all of our 'faults') and heal those shame beliefs on a subconscious level. Until then, anything that threatens the validity of those beliefs will be met with resistance, you will sabotage your efforts and your shame will be validated, by you and you'll be at the bottom of that gallon of despair before one minute is up.

Something else to consider observing in this minute is what this change means to you. And what the current behavior means to you. What does replacing this behavior with a different one mean to you? What would be different for you if you made this change? What does it feel like to experience a new behavior? What does it feel like to keep acting out this behavior. Just be curious. What happens when we are curious instead of critical is that we can begin to respond, rather than react. We give ourselves a little time between the thought of doing something and actually doing it and the magic begins to happen in this pause.

Let's try this together!

I'd love to hear your thoughts if you try this. Comment below to share your experience!

Maria Rippo is a Transformational Healing & Wellness practitioner with an online as well as a local practice in Bothell, WA. She is an Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist and Holistic Coach working towards her Master's degree in Transpersonal Psychology, but mostly, she is a human trying to figure out how to navigate this thing called life. This article Copyright 2016 by Maria Rippo, all right reserved. To replicate or use any portion of this article, please do so in its entirety including this text or contact the author at maria@mariarippo.com.

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Mindfulness Practice for Overcoming Self-Sabotage

6/12/2016

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      Overcoming self-sabotage and resistance to change is about connecting with what is really happening in our lives that the sabotage is distracting us from. The real purpose of self-sabotaging behaviors are to prevent us from feeling the discomfort of our emotions.

     Our inner saboteur is the wounded part of us that works to protect us at all times. Its motivation is the avoidance of pain. It gets the illusion of power through having a sense of control at all costs. When we find ourselves sabotaging, we might ask the question, "What is it that makes me feel powerless, helpless, out of control and with no choices?" And, "How does this behavior keep me from having to feel how I really feel?"

     We don’t live in a culture that promotes the identification, expression and processing of our emotions. When it comes to disordered eating behavior, Dr. Anita Johnston explains it this way,

     Disordered eating thoughts and behaviors are, by design, created to distract us from emotions that seem too painful, too overwhelming, too complicated, or too frightening to deal with directly. As awful as it may be to “feel fat”, it can sometimes be easier to keep those feelings at bay by focusing on body weight, by stuffing them down with food, by distracting ourselves with calorie counting, or by exercising excessively -- if we don’t know how to allow the full force of uncomfortable emotions to flow through us.

     We live in an emotionally illiterate culture where very few of us are taught how to experience our feelings with ease. It is often difficult for us to simply BE with our feelings so they can pass on their own accord. It is even more difficult to express them in a way that honors how we really feel -- while simultaneously honoring the feelings and perceptions of others with whom we might be in conflict. So is it any wonder we would gravitate to whatever might distract us from our uncomfortable emotions? Is it any wonder that we would develop thoughts and behaviors that keep difficult feelings hidden – from ourselves and from others?

     Food obsessions and disordered eating behaviors are very effective at keeping disconcerting emotions that arise from current situations or from painful memories out of our awareness. That is their function. The relief they provide, however, is only temporary, because if we continuously place our attention on thoughts about food, fat, and dieting without recognizing they are Red Herrings, those real problems to which our emotional guidance system is trying alert us never get revealed – and, consequently, never get resolved.

       In order to become aware of and feel our feelings, the practice of mindfulness is very effective. This is something you can do on your own, in the moment when you notice the urge to sabotage or notice resistance to making changes. Whenever you decide to try something other than what you’ve been doing, resistance will come alive. It is normal and it is not a sign of your incapability to change, or your defectiveness. It is simply your survival mechanism, working hard to prevent you from feeling discomfort. Change is not comfortable, so there is a part of you that will push back…every time. So, we want to learn to work with the pushback instead of seeing the resistance as proof we ought not make the change we want to make.

        How do we do this? According to John Kabat-Zinn, “The cultivation of mindfulness (is) a radical act ̶ a radical act of sanity, of self-compassion, and, ultimately, of love.” Mindfulness is “becoming aware of what is on our minds from moment to moment, and of how our experience is transformed when we do.” “It involves finding, recognizing, and making use of that in us which is already okay, already beautiful, already whole by virtue of our being human ̶ and drawing upon it to live our lives as if it really mattered how we stand in relationship to what arises, whatever it is.” Kabat-Zinn explains that our perceptions affect the amount of energy that we have to put into making choices about where to use that energy. For example, if we feel completely overwhelmed in life and that the efforts we are making aren’t really making a difference, this can lead to feelings of “inadequacy, depression and helplessness.” Everything feels out of our control so we end up becoming apathetic and give up even wanting to try. He explains that each of us experiences the ‘full catastrophe of life.’ This includes “crisis and disaster, the unthinkable and the unacceptable, but it also includes all the little things that go wrong and that add up.” Mindfulness helps us embrace the full catastrophe so that it doesn’t destroy us or rob us of our power or hope. Instead, using mindfulness, these experiences can strengthen us, and offer us the opportunity to heal and grow.

     When it comes to self-sabotage, for me, the most important step in the mindfulness process is the noticing. This is where the practice begins. We set an intention to notice the urge to participate in the self-sabotaging behavior. Once this feels comfortable, we then notice the urge and then pause. The magic for me starts here, with the noticing and the pause. It seems such a simple concept, but in reality, this is exactly the part that part of you is going to resist. In the pause, you will hear the voice campaign. If you’ve seen The Matrix, for me, the voices are the ‘agents,’ doing everything in their power to create fear and to keep us asleep to reality, keep us stuck in the status quo of familiarity.

     So, in the pause, begin to listen. What are the voices telling you? Write it down. Notice what they say, without judgment, as though you are just a reporter, stating the facts. And then, notice what you feel in your body. What sensations do you notice? Is there tightness in your chest, heaviness in your gut, constriction in your throat? What is happening in your body? Again, simply notice without judgment. If you notice judgment such as shame, guilt, fear, just notice that as well. And now begin to notice what emotions you feel. Are you sad, lonely, afraid, angry, hurt, ashamed, guilty? Again, just noticing the qualities of these emotions and allowing yourself to be with them without trying to change them or make them go away. Just simply acknowledging that they are there. Notice any blame you might have of yourself or others. Again, no judgment, just noticing. And now, notice what it is that you need. So often, when my clients do this exercise, they are feeling an empty and never-ending black hole inside of them. I'm familiar with that place as well. Maybe we all feel this? An intense emptiness. A deep longing for connection. A yearning desire to matter, that someone cares, to feel included, to be understood, to be noticed, seen and heard. Whatever your preferred method of sabotage is, the behavior or substance may feel like the only thing that is reliably there. There is a never-ending grasping for a nurturing that it can never truly give. This must come into the awareness if one is to move beyond the sabotaging behaviors.

      There is a saying, “What we think about, we bring about,” or “what we focus on expands.” So, the next step in this process would be to redirect the attention. If we sit and think about how chocolate is the only thing that will make me feel better right now, eventually, that belief will win out and chocolate or ___________, will be had and soon, we will be right back where we began, with an even deeper sense of defeat.

      So, this is where the intentional thought shifting practice comes into importance if change is the desired outcome. This may not be appropriate at the beginning as self-sabotage, in my experience, has been serving an important purpose of numbing the pain of life. So, we often need a lot of support in this process. If you find that you try this technique, or any of the others offered here and you continue in your behaviors, for me, that is a sign that your pain is deep and intense and it would be best to do this with a trained professional such as a hypnotherapist, who will be able to hold sacred space for you as you navigate the healing process.

            As one becomes comfortable with the noticing, and then the pausing and the non-judgmental, mindful awareness of what is happening in the moment, then it may be appropriate to practice the redirecting of attention. This simply involves intentionally moving yourself somewhere else and placing your thoughts on something other than the behavior that sabotages your goals. You can shift your thoughts to what you do want in your life and choose an activity that brings you closer to experiencing that. I had to physically leave my house many times for a couple hours, until the desire to sabotage settled. This was very helpful! I tended to eat when I wasn’t hungry and really didn’t even know what physical hunger felt like. So, I’d leave my house and take my kids to the park, go for a walk, go shopping, get together with a friend (and not eat), etc…and wait until I could feel physical hunger before I ate. Redirecting attention is simply shifting your awareness away from your substance or behavior of sabotage choice. Physically move away from the situation, and put your focus elsewhere. I’ve heard it said, “Your mind is a terrible master, but a wonderful servant.” Only by mindful observation, can we take charge of where our thoughts are, rather than being controlled by and believing their illusions.

            It is a well-known fact that we often need to hit rock bottom before we are inspired to move from surviving to thriving. We have to get sick and tired of being sick and tired which is the catalyst for a new experience. The saboteur is in pain. Pain is the catalyst for healing. In order to heal self-sabotaging behavior, what if feeling and processing the pain is paramount?

Sources:

Light of the Moon Café, www.lightofthemooncafe.com, Dr. Anita Johnston.

Full-Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness, John Kabat-Zinn.

Maria Rippo is a Transformational Healing & Wellness practitioner with an online as well as a local practice in Bothell, WA. She is an Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist and Holistic Coach working towards her Master's and PsyD in Transpersonal Psychology, but mostly, she is a human trying to figure out how to navigate this thing called life. This article Copyright 2016 by Maria Rippo, all right reserved. To replicate or use any portion of this article, please do so in its entirety including this text or contact the author at maria@mariarippo.com.

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GMO: What do I Need to Know?

6/4/2016

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       What the heck is a GMO? GMO stands for genetically modified organism. Basically it’s the process of taking a gene from one species and forcing it into the genes of another species. There are two main categories of GMOs for food. There are herbicide tolerant crops which can be sprayed with heavy herbicides mainly Round up, and not be killed so all the weeds around the plant die, but the plant lives.

           There are also pesticide producing crops that produce their own toxic insecticides so when the bugs bite them, it breaks open their stomach and kills them.

           So genes are being swapped between species that are foreign to nature, creating new organisms that were not part of the evolutionary process. We have no idea what kind of effect this will have on the ecosystem nor whether the negative effects will be reversible.

          The process of genetic engineering creates unexpected side effects. It creates gene sequences that are foreign to nature, to our immune systems. The immune system reacts b/c it’s never seen the gene sequence. The immune system reacts and attacks the sequence rather than being nourished by the food that contains the sequence, thus the rise in food allergies.

        GE, genetically engineered or GMO (they are interchangeable) soy and corn were introduced in 1996 to the American Diet. Many diseases related to gut inflammation have been on the rise since then. They take a toxin called BT toxin and insert it into every cell of the GE plant, when an insect eats it, it explodes their stomach. The EPA says this doesn’t affect humans or animals. If it does the same in humans, it basically causes leaky gut, holes in the gut allowing food to prematurely leak into the blood stream.

          When food leaks prematurely into the gut, the body creates antibodies to that food and we become allergic.

         There are 9 GMO crops currently-

         They are soy, corn, cottonseed, canola, sugar beets, Hawaiian papaya, and a small amount of zucchini, yellow crookneck squash and alfalfa. Most of them are used in processed foods so it’s good to get those out of the diet or at least eat organic processed foods. If an ingredient list names sugar, but not Pure cane sugar, then it almost definitely is a mixture of cane and beet sugar. Also, if your milk does not say rBHT or rBST free or made without artificial hormones then this is GMO milk. I use raw milk which you can find by going to a site called www.realmilk.com to find sources in your area.

       You can download an app for your phone that will give you all the updated info. on GMOs and what products are GMO free at www.responsibletechnology.org. I also highly recommend watching the documentary on that site called Genetic Roulette.

       Avoid any non-organic soy, corn, cotton seed oil, canola oil and sugar from sugar beets.

       And if GMOs aren't harmful enough, consider other reasons why GMO farms create sub-par crops. In the US alone, more than 1.2 billion pounds of pesticides are dumped onto our food crops on a yearly basis. Not only are pesticides toxic, the farming practices on conventional farms (those that use chemicals) are different than those practices used by organic farmers.

       Conventional practices include using chemicals to make plants grow and produce fruit whereas, organic farms practice amending the soil to feed it so that nutrient-dense, healthy produce can grow in it. Conventional farms amend the soil with three of the 52 necessary chemicals, phosphorous, nitrogen and potassium. That leaves the soil and resulting crops devoid of 49 necessary minerals. Many studies show that fruit and vegetables grown in organic soil contain many more nutrients than those grown in conventional methods. It seems obvious why this might be the case! Many, if not all of our diseases are associated with mineral deficiency at the core.

      Life begins in the soil and the quality of our soil is largely responsible for the quality of our lives! Love your dirt!!

Maria Rippo is a Transformational Healing & Wellness practitioner with an online as well as a local practice in Bothell, WA. She is an Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist and Holistic Coach, working towards her Master's and PsyD in Transpersonal Psychology, but mostly, she is a human trying to figure out how to navigate this thing called life. This article Copyright 2016 by Maria Rippo, all right reserved. To replicate or use any portion of this article, please do so in its entirety including this text or contact the author at maria@mariarippo.com.

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Am I Codependent?

5/23/2016

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Codependence has donned a variety of descriptions over the years. In the 1980's, it was more commonly used to refer to someone in a relationship with an addict. Currently it is used to describe a loss of sense of self or a disturbance in one's identity or ability to experience intimacy with oneself or another. Common to its core are suppression of feelings and pleasing others at the expense of one's own needs and desires in order to stay in relationship. Another aspect of codependency is blaming shifting onto others, meaning, making others responsible for how I am experiencing life. If I don't have money, it's someone else's fault. If I can't get a good job, someone else is to blame. My relationship isn't working, it's because of my partner, etc...

Connection and sense of belonging are basic human needs. A codependent person is one who has learned that for them, connection with another human being, means not being able to get their own emotional and/or physical needs met and yet, they have to have connection, so the connection itself becomes the focus and not getting other needs met, is secondary. A codependent person, on a subconscious level, doesn’t believe they deserve to have needs and therefore, will become whatever they perceive that others need them to be in order to be in relationship.

“Codependency is a construct introduced in the 1980s to describe a wide range of relational behaviors that inhibit personal functioning. The codependency movement began within the substance abuse treatment movement with the recognition that not only alcoholics but also the families of alcoholics required treatment." (Krestan & Bepko, 1990). Starting in the mid 1980s, the concept of codependency was extended to anyone who became involved in dysfunctional relationships. Currently, the Proto typical characteristics of a codependent are extreme dependence on and preoccupation with another person, regardless of whether that other person is a substance abuser.” (Cowan, 1995, p. 221 )

Yet another definition of codependency is that not only is it a dependency on others, but also on compulsive behaviors. “Codependency is a pattern of painful dependence on compulsive behaviors and on approval from others in an attempt to find safety, self-worth, and identity.” (Treadway, 1990, p. 39 - 42)

In an article titled, Codependency and the Eating-Disorder client in the Journal, Nursing Clinics of North America, the term codependency is defined as “an adjustment reaction, which may become a developmental disorder, in which persistent patterns of learned, self-defeating behaviors, characterized by denial of one’s own feelings, beliefs, or values, are continually repeated without insight.” (Riley, 1991, 765)

In my own experience of codependency, I lacked the knowledge that I was worthy of having needs and lacked even more knowledge of how to get them met in a healthy way. Underlying this was a belief that I needed others to take care of me because I was not enough to take care of myself. I truly believed that the source of my own suffering was my circumstances as well as my husband and his behavior and yet, I felt completely powerless to do anything about it and felt I had no other choice than to keep the status quo and somehow be content. “In an article from the book Co-Dependency, An Emerging Issue, Robert Subby wrote codependency is "an emotional, psychological, and behavioral condition that develops as a result of an individual's prolonged exposure to, and practice of, a set of oppressive rules - rules which prevent the open expression of feeling as well as the direct discussion of personal and interpersonal problems.’” (Beattie, 1992, p. 30)

Earnie Larsen, another codependency specialist and a pioneer in that field, explains that codependency is "those self-defeating, learned behaviors or character defects that result in a diminished capacity to initiate or to participate in loving relationships." (Beattie, 1992, p. 30) Melody Beattie, a codependency expert and author of Codependent No More, says that, “A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling the other person's behavior.” (Beattie, 1992, p. 34) In my experience, this is not happening on a conscious level. It is truly a cry to get emotional needs met, but the tools to do so are lacking so the codependent person subconsciously tries to ‘force’ others to meet their needs through guilt, neediness or abuse.
So, we’ve moved from believing that a person must be exposed to abuse or addiction in order to become codependent, to realizing that all a person really needs, in order to take on the characteristics of codependence, is oppressive rules, someone else telling them what is good for them and not allowing them to have choice and set healthy limits and boundaries as well as a general loss of their sense of self. This may happen in any relationship and often can come from the experience in the family of origin.

In my work with clients as well as in my training at the Wellness Institute, I’ve come to believe that helping ourselves and our clients become aware of and heal their codependence is foundational for healing. The following is Diane Zimberoff’s Definition, from her article titled, Codependency and Compulsive Addictive Behavior.
"What is codependency? It is two or more people coming together who are not in themselves whole. A child who is raised in a family where he/she does not receive all the nurturing needed to grow up strong and healthy and complete; a child who is raised in a family where the parents are obviously not in control of their lives; a child who is raised in a family where the victim triangle is played and everyone at some point feels like the victim. This is a codependent family. Then this child grows up (physically but not always emotionally) and marries someone who also is not complete inside.

What is the difference between a codependent person and someone else? A good analogy is a tree. If you plant two trees next to each other, but treat them differently, they will grow differently. For example, if you give one tree all the proper nutrients, water and sunlight, this tree will grow up healthy: it will flourish and produce abundantly. If the other tree does not receive the needed nutrients, sunlight and water, it will grow but not be as hardy and will not produce as abundantly. If it doesn’t receive any nutrients it will wither and die.
A codependent person is like the tree which did not receive the proper nutrients. And the degree of which the nutrients were absent is the degree of the codependency: the degree to which the person becomes dependent on drugs, alcohol, food or a relationship. This is what addiction is based on. It is that tree constantly trying to “soak up” the nutrients that have been missing for years. Frantically searching for the “proper ingredients” so that it can flourish and produce abundantly like the well tree.

When an unhealthy tree turns to another unhealthy tree for support, they will lean on each other and collapse. This is what happens with two codependent people who marry. They become more and more dependent on each other and begin to lean on each other. As they lean on each other their branches become so entwined that soon you can no longer tell which is which. Their individuality becomes so tangled up that they themselves don’t know where one ends and the other begins. Eventually, one or both collapse from the weight of both.

The collapse can take the form of stress-related symptoms: alcohol, drug, tobacco or food abuse. It can take form of a nervous breakdown, physical illness or just constant daily pressures that seem to build up. It may take years to become even vaguely aware that there is a problem. The reason for this is that to a codependent, codependency is so normal and feels so familiar that he/she assumes this is the way it should be." (Zimberoff 2015, p. 2)

Similarly, the Twelve Steps of Adult Children Workbook defines codependency as, “constantly looking outside of ourselves for love, affirmation, and attention from people who cannot provide it. At the same time, we (codependents) believe that we are not truly worthy of love or attention. In our view, codependence is driven by childhood fear and distorted thinking known as para-alchoholism. We choose dependent people who abandon us and lack clarity in their own lives because it matches our childhood experiences.” (Twelve Steps of ACA Workbook, p. 6) It explains that “the main problem is a mistaken belief that we could have changed our parents.” (Twelve Steps of ACA Workbook, p. 6). It explains that a codependent person has confused love with pity and tend to pity those they can rescue. Codependent people are drawn to people that seem familiar and so they find dysfunctional people and “attempt to heal them or cure them.” (Twelve Steps of ACA Workbook, p. 6)

There are nine core symptoms of codependency. They are: Abandonment fears, lack of self-esteem, shame, unhealthy boundaries, addictions/compulsions, need to control, poor sense of identity, confusion over needs and wants, and family of origin issues. In my own experience of being codependent and traveling the journey of healing it, the sense of helplessness and powerless I experienced, caused me to seek some form of control in my life. I played the role of victim quite skillfully and had many caretakers in my life. I turned to food and exercise because it felt like the only thing I could control. It also served as a distraction from my total sense of helplessness to change anything about my life and on top of that, I was being taught to be content and joyful no matter what, in spite of my circumstances, so I didn’t realize I was allowed to feel how I really felt. I interpreted that as, ‘do nothing about my circumstances and just be happy.’ The only thing that felt happy was being able to control what my body looked like and the food I ate. I got pleasure from eating and it seemed as though every moment of my day was consumed by thoughts of having a perfect body and what food I was going to or not going to eat next.

I also felt totally responsible for other people’s experience of me and of life. I’d do anything to make sure others liked and accepted me. I’d hide my opinions, I looked how I thought they’d like, I was nice, I was funny, I was agreeable, I’d do anything to avoid conflict, but I wasn’t true to my own self. All of this caused immense anxiety and I was eventually diagnosed with manic depression. As I look back now, it makes so much sense that I felt empty and powerless so I turned to food and exercise as my ‘drug of choice’, to try to numb out that feeling.

For me, codependency is about not knowing how to get our needs met in a healthy way. As children, if we grow up in dysfunction where our basic needs cannot be met in healthy ways, we brilliantly learn how to somehow get paid attention to either by being overly demanding and controlling, being helpless and needy or by taking care of others while not getting our own needs met. (See my article on Transforming the Victim Triangle) Often times, the ‘others’ are our parents. We come to believe that it’s our job to make everything ok for our parents and please them any way we can. Codependency is taking responsibility for other people’s experience of life or making others responsible for ours. When we are codependent, we feel powerless because our life is dependent on how others react to us and what our circumstances are and we are left feeling that in order to have a new experience of life, others, or our circumstances need to change.

This is not reality though. In order to experience change, we must change how we are experiencing life. We do this through finding and healing the wounds in our heart, in our spirit, in our soul. Until we do so, we will feel powerless and we’ll have a need to use some form of ‘medication’ to numb ourselves. The best way I've found to this is with an experienced coach or therapist who can help you find and heal your hidden wounds and beliefs, to reclaim your true self and to experience relationships that are interdependent rather than codependent, where you are honored for being you, not made responsible for how others feel, and you largely know that you have everything you need in order to be responsible for your experience of life.

Sources

Beattie, M. (1992). Codependent no more: How to stop controlling others and start caring for yourself. Center City, Minnesota: Hazleden Foundation.

Cowan, G., Bommersbach, M., & Curtis, S. (1995). Codependency, Loss Of Self, And Power. Psychology of Women Quarterly Psychol of Women Q, 221-236.

Hartman, D. (2014). Codependency. Internship Weekend 1 (Sept. 2014) by The Wellness Institute in Issaquah, WA, USA.

Hartman, D. (2013). Eating Disorders: Signs and Symptoms. 6 Day Hypnotherapy Training (May, 2013) by The Wellness Institute in Issaquah, WA, USA.

Krestan, J., & Bepko, C. (1990). Codependency: The social reconstruction of female experience. Smith College Studies in Social Work, 216-232.

Mellody, P., & Miller, A. (1989). Facing codependence: What it is, where it comes from, how it sabotages our lives. San Francisco: Perennial Library.

Miller, K. D. (1991) Compulsive Overeating. The Nursing Clinics of North America, 26(3), 699-705.

Morgan, Jr. J. (1991). What is Codependence? Journal of Clinical Psychology. 47(5). 720 – 729.

O'brien, P., & Gaborit, M. (1992). Codependency: A disorder separate from chemical dependency. J. Clin. Psychol. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 129-136.

Riley, Elizabeth, A. (1991) Codependency and the Eating-Disorder Client. The Nursing Clinics of North America, 26(3), 765-775.

Roth, G. (2002). Feeding the hungry heart: The experience of compulsive eating. New York: Plume.

Subby, R. (1984). Inside the Chemically Dependent Marrige: Denial and Manipulation. In Cruse, S., & Dependence, I. (1984). Co-dependency, an emerging issue: A book of readings reprinted from FOCUS on FAMILY and chemical dependency. Pompano Beach, FL: Health Communications.

The twelve steps of adult children: Steps workbook. (2007). Torrance, CA: Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization.

Treadway, D., (1990). Codependency: Disease, metaphor, or fad? Family Therapy Networker, 14(1), 39-42.

Zimberoff, D. (2014). Codependency and Compulsive-Addictive Behavior. Internship Weekend 1 (Sept. 2014) by The Wellness Institute in Issaquah, WA, USA.

Maria Rippo is a Transformational Healing & Wellness practitioner with an online as well as a local practice in Bothell, WA. She is an Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist and Holistic Coach, working towards her Master's and PsyD in Transpersonal Psychology, but mostly, she is a human trying to figure out how to navigate this thing called life. This article Copyright 2016 by Maria Rippo, all right reserved. To replicate or use any portion of this article, please do so in its entirety including this text or contact the author at maria@mariarippo.com.

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Alive and Full of Life Guided Visualization for Healthy Habits

5/22/2016

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Your subconscious mind is 90 - 95% of your mind. So often, we rely on our conscious mind in order to make changes, but our habits are programmed in our subconscious mind. I created this guided visualization for health and vitality to help reprogram your subconscious mind so you can make supportive changes in your life. Listen daily to change the experience you have with yourself about making life-giving shifts!

Maria Rippo is a Transformational Healing & Wellness practitioner with an online as well as a local practice in Bothell, WA. She is an Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist and Holistic Coach, working towards her Master's and PsyD in Transpersonal Psychology, but mostly, she is a human figuring out how to navigate this thing called life. This article Copyright 2016 by Maria Rippo, all right reserved. To replicate or use any portion of this article, please do so in its entirety including this text or contact the author at maria@mariarippo.com.

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Transforming the Triangle of Victimhood/Drama

5/21/2016

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When I was first introduced to this triangle by our therapist, Garth, I found myself most often in the place of the victim. In fact, Garth told me something like, in all his twenty years as a therapist, he had NEVER seen someone so stuck in the victim role. I really hated to know that, but if I were going to find a new way to experience life, that had become a sort of hell for me, I was going to look honestly at how I was trying to get my needs met in ways that were NOT serving me or anyone else.

Commonly referred to as the Victim or Drama Triangle, knowledge of this "holy trinity" of dysfunction, is necessary if one is to move beyond dysfunctional ways of getting needs met.

I have seen understanding of this triangular dynamic change more lives than I can count. So, what is it? It is a picture of the roles we take on as children in order to get our needs met, to be paid attention to, and to matter. It is present wherever codependence exists. Codependence describes anyone in a relationship, where neither participant is living from a place of wholeness, but instead, makes others responsible for their experience of life or feels responsible for other people's experience of life. That can manifest in different ways, namely as a helpless victim who believes they need others to take care of them, as a rescuer who takes care of everyone but themselves or as the persecutor who seeks to control others through the use of guilt, shame or raging. Underneath these dynamics is fear and shame, a sense of powerlessness (feeling overwhelmed and disconnected) and so the motivation in all of this is to feel powerful and connected with others. The presence of codependency has been found to lead to a loss of self and of personal power which can affect a person in any area of their life.

Why might one take on these roles? It's all about how we, as children, learned to be paid attention to. We must be paid attention to as humans. In orphanages, where babies and children have their physical needs met, but not their emotional needs, they die of a condition called failure to thrive. So, from the brilliance of a child, we learn the only way we can to get our needs met, either by being helpless, taking care of everyone or through intimidation. All of these roles are really the 'victim.' And all humans, to some extent use these methods to get their needs met. Take, for example, the people pleaser. They take care of everyone else and never say no. What do they get from this behavior? Acceptance. Belonging is a survival need that humans have. We learn to do whatever it takes so that we will not be abandoned, so people will like and accept us and so we can belong. Marshall Rosenberg, author of Non-Violent Communication says that all anyone is ever really doing is saying, "please." "Please like me, please accept me, please hear me, please let me belong, please notice me..." But we have found ways to do this at the expense of never getting our true needs met.

Lack of boundaries is what keeps the cycle alive. There is an underlying fear that if I ask for my true needs to be met, others will leave me and I will be alone. So, as a victim, I find rescuers who get their needs met by taking care of others, or as a rescuer, I take care of victims to meet my need of taking care of others. As a persecutor, I feel in control by shaming and threatening others so they do what I need them to do. In the end, no one ever really gets their needs met this way. What we are left with is the illusion that we are in control and connected with others, when we really aren't. We are not even connected with our own selves, which is the root cause of all of this, a broken relationship with ourselves. It's about feeling helpless and powerless and doing whatever it takes to get others to do what we need. And in the end, it only creates more separation from others and our own selves.

When we are on the triangle, we are also 'in our head.' For me that means we are identifying with the ego rather than with the truth of who we are. The ego believes in all that we are not and who we think we are supposed to be. Its identity is, "I'm not enough, I don't belong, I'm unlovable, I'm incapable, I have to prove my worth, I'm inadequate, I'm damaged, My existence doesn't matter, I don't matter..." The purpose of the ego is self-preservation. It works hard to hide these 'truths,' by defending, proving, comparing and competing. When we are playing our roles to get our needs met, its how we learned to survive and when we stay in those roles, our only hope is survival. If we want to move to thriving, we must take quite possibly the longest journey of our lives, thirteen long inches, down to our heart center where our truth resides. This involves healing the false beliefs of the ego (with a guide such a coach or therapist, knowledgeable about healing in this way) and allows us to get our true needs met.

When we are "in our heads," we are defending, proving, blaming and comparing, to name a few. This causes others to also put their defenses up and we end up arguing about who's right, who's wrong and not getting anything accomplished. Being right feels powerful. It gives us a sense of control, so acting from this place is about feeling powerful because we feel powerless (overwhelmed and disconnected).

When we act from our hearts, or our higher selves, or spirit self, we communicate how we feel, what we need, and we have healthy limits as well as boundaries. We know how to keep what is serving us, in, and what is not, out.

When we come into our hearts we can clearly communicate what it is we need. We know that we are responsible for meeting our own needs. We are vulnerable. We take full responsibility for our own experience of life and leave others to be responsible for theirs. We are clear about what works for us and what doesn't and we let others know so they can make choices about being in our lives or not. In doing so we have moved from being codependent to being interdependent. This transforms the dynamic of the triangle. Here's how that has looked in my own life:

The goal in understanding the triangle, is not to see where everyone else is on it as much as it is to see ourselves on it. It's sneaky. Becoming conscious of our own dysfunction is how we empower ourselves. We will get on the triangle so the goal is not to stay off of it, though that would be nice. It's to notice when we are on it so we can choose whether to stay or to come into our hearts.

According to the HeartMath Institute, the vibration of our heart is 5,000 times stronger than that of our head. We can make connections when we come from our hearts. Everyone can get their needs met. And that's what we are trying to do in the first place! After all, we are all just kids, dressed up adult suits, appealing for love, desperately wanting to matter, to be noticed, to belong. When we do it in childish ways from a place of unhealed fear and shame, everyone suffers and we continue to survive instead of thrive. When we become child-like ... curious, playful, deep-feeling, spontaneous, undefended, risk-taking, present, accepting, explorative, unconcerned with people's judgements, we can begin to thrive. In my experience, it takes time and deep healing of our subconscious and unconscious beliefs, but it is possible. I am living proof!!

Oh and just a side note, --ain't nobody gonna like it when you jump out of the triangle game. When you stop playing this childish, rather than child-like game, people in your life will feel very threatened and will quite possibly project their fear and shame onto you as anger and rejection because they feel out of control and confused (disconnected and overwhelmed). This is not about you! And it's fairly inevitable at the beginning. But, don't lose hope, as you heal these patterns you will draw others into your life that are also healing them and you open the door for much deeper and more fulfilling relationships!

Maria Rippo is a Transformational Healing & Wellness practitioner with an online as well as a local practice in Bothell, WA. She is an Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist and Holistic Coach, working towards her Master's and PsyD in Transpersonal Psychology, but mostly, she is a human trying to figure out how to navigate this thing called life. This article Copyright 2016 by Maria Rippo, all right reserved. To replicate or use any portion of this article, please do so in its entirety including this text or contact the author at maria@mariarippo.com.

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Eliminate Cravings with Amino Acids

5/20/2016

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So you're trying to make changes. You're using hypnosis, mindful eating, and all the will-power you can muster up, your habits are changing, but the cravings monster is still alive and well inside of you. I know how you feel! Even though I am a hypnotherapist, specializing in healing emotional eating, and have had HUGE changes in my neural programming around food, my body and the healing of my own emotional eating, there are still times when something like a glass of wine or a cup of coffee seems to call my name until I give in to its illusion of happiness... like, a lot of times.

I see massive shifts in my clients too. But, there seemed to be a missing link, a physiological issue pulling them at times, to go back to their old ways and sometimes, its irresistible, and its frustrating for them and they get sucked back into a binge or eating foods that no longer serve them and keep them stuck right where they don't want to be.

This left me scratching my head for answers. I had read The Diet Cure a while back but the information seemed confusing. I recently got a book by the same author, Julia Ross, called The Mood Cure. I then purchased her program on healing addictions and I am becoming more and more convinced that amino acids can make a huge difference in the ability to make lasting changes. I've been experimenting with them with my clients and am seeing amazing things happen.

According to Ross, the first important thing to ask yourself is what is your substance of choice doing for you? Is it calming? Is it numbing your emotional pain? Do you use it to de-stress? To escape? Is it an upper? A Downer? How is it that you feel while thinking about, partaking in and after using this substance?

And next, what substances do you turn to for reasons other than physical hunger? Coffee, chocolate, processed carbohydrates, salty foods, sweet foods, starchy foods, fatty foods, artificially sweetened products. What mood states are you looking for these substances to give you?

The fact is that you use (these substances) to feel better, not to wreck your life or anyone else's. Don't let shame keep you from exploring why you use them... It doesn't matter, at first, which specific mood-coping substance is your problem. What matter is how that substance changes your mood chemistry. Does it give you a lift, an energy surge? Does it give you confidence or a sense of humor? Does it relax you, take the edge off,, or allow you to go to sleep?

Following are Ross's findings and can be found in both of her books I've mentioned. I highly recommend both if you struggle with cravings.

If you overeat to help you cope, you might benefit from taking D-Phenylalanine (DPA) or, if you need energy, DL-Phenylalanine (DLPA) along with L-Glutamine. If you still need more energy, add L-Tyrosine. Adding 5-HTP can be helpful as well for PM cravings. With amino acids, you start with a lower dose. If you don't notice immediate differences in levels of cravings and desire to binge, you can begin to increase your dose.

You can take 500 - 1500 mg of L-Glutamine 3x per day to stop sweet, starch and alcohol cravings. You can also take this when you notice a craving, to stop it. If this is the case, simply open the capsule and dump the contents into your mouth.
Amino acids should be taken 1/2 hour before or an hour and a half, after meals to be the most effective. Take this upon arising in the morning, between breakfast and lunch and between lunch and dinner or at time of craving.

500 mg of DPA or DLPA can be taken at the same time as the L-Glutamine to give you a sense of comfort and pleasure.

5-HTP, 50 mg especially if sleep is an issue, can be taken between breakfast and lunch, between lunch and dinner and at bedtime. If you still can't fall asleep within 15 minutes, take another.

Also, brain chemistry is very important to consider. If you use substances to relieve depression, you may be low in serotonin. Symptoms might include: negativity, depression with dark thoughts, worried, anxious, shy, low self-esteem, obsessive thoughts, obsessive behaviors, SAD, PMS moodiness, irritable, impatient, angry, panic/anxiety, PTSD, phobias, hate hot weather, night owl, insomnia, find relief through exercise, fibromyalgia, TMJ, suicidal thoughts/plans. If you tend to relieve these symptoms through sweets, starches, fatty foods, chocolate, alcohol, marijuana, tobacco or Ecstasy than you might benefit from taking 5-HTP or L-Tryptophan.

If you have the kind of depression that you might describe as the "blahs," you might be low in catecholemines. The symptoms might include lack of physical or mental energy, lack of drive, enthusiasm, difficulty focusing/concentrating, need a lot of sleep, slow to wake up, easily chilled, cold hands or feet, tend to put on weight easily. And the substances that tend to feel helpful are sugar, chocolate, caffeine, aspartame, alcohol, cocaine, other uppers, marijuana, tobacco, and opiates. If this is you, you might benefit from trying L-Tyrosine, L-phenylalanine, Omega 3 fatty acids and SAM-e.

If you use addictive substances to calm down or relieve stress, you may be GABA deficient. The symptoms may include feeling driven, overworked, pressured, too many deadlines, have trouble relaxing or loosening up, tend to be stiff, uptight, tense, easily upset or frustrated, snappy, easily overwhelmed, just can't get it all done, weak, shaky, sensitive to bright light, noise, and/or odors, use smoking, drinking, eating, or drugs to relax, calm down, worse if you skip meals or go too long without eating. And the substances you tend to use might include sweets, starches, alcohol, tobacco, marijuana, painkillers, tranquilizers. You might benefit from GABA, taurine, glycine, glutamine, chromium, and adrenal support.

If you use substances to relieve emotional and/or physical pain, you might be low in endorphins. Symptoms might include: being very sensitive to emotional or physical pain, tear up or cry easily, avoid dealing with painful issues, find it hard to get over losses or get through grieving, crave pleasure, comfort, reward, enjoyment or numbing. The substances you use may include: sweets, starches, chocolate, alcohol or tobacco, heroin, or marijuana. You may benefit from using DL-Phenylalanine (DLPA), D-Phenylalanine (DPA), B Vitamins, Vitamin C, magnesium, and 5-HTP.

In addition, its important to support your body nutritionally. You can do this by taking a multi-vitamin/mineral supplement. Email maria@mariarippo.com for my recommendations on brand. Calcium 250 - 500 mg/day, Magnesium 200 - 400 mg/day, Vitamin D, 400 IU minimum/day, B Complex 10 - 25 mm, Vitamin C with bioflavonoids (1,000mg Vitamin C and 300 - 500 mg bioflavonoids) and fish oil.

For many addicts, sugar/processed carbs, especially, you probably are low in all of these brain chemicals and will benefit from taking all of them. On page 127, in The Diet Cure, Ross recommends the following dosages:

To stop sweet cravings, and enhance relaxation:
L-Glutamine, 500mg - 1500mg upon arising, between breakfast and lunch and between lunch and dinner.

To destress and relax muscles:
GABA, 100 - 500 mg or GABA with taurine and glycine, 100 - 300 mg between breakfast and lunch, between lunch and dinner and at bedtime.

To energize and focus:
L-Tyrosine, 500 - 2,000mg upon arising, between breakfast and lunch, and between lunch and dinner.

To enhance feelings of comfort and pleasure and to reduce pain:
DLPA or DPA 500 - 1000 mg upon arising, between breakfast and lunch and between lunch and dinner.

To improve mood, sleep and PM Cravings:
5-HTP, 50 - 100 mg or L-Tryptophan, 500 - 1000 mg (if one doesn't work, try the other) between breakfast and lunch, between lunch and dinner and at bedtime.

800 mg of SAM-e can be taken upon arising and between breakfast and lunch.

Ross list the precautions for taking amino acids as follows:

If you have high blood pressure, consult a physician before taking tyrosine, DL-phenylalanine, or L-phenylalanine.

If you take MAO inhibitors, consult a physician before taking tyrosine, DL-phenylalanine, or L-phenylalanine.

If you take MAO inhibitors for depression, consult a physician before taking L-tryptophan, or 5-HTP.

If you have an overactive thyroid, consult a physician before taking tyrosine, DL-phenylalanine or L-phenylalanine.

If you have Hashimoto's thyroiditis, consult a physician before taking tyrosine, DL-phenylalanine, or L-phenylalanine.

If you have PKU, consult a physician before taking tyrosine, DL-phenylalanine, or L-phenylalanine.

If you get migraine headaches, consult a physician before taking tyrosine, DL-phenylalanine, or L-phenylalanine or 5-HTP.

If you have melanoma, consult a physician before taking tyrosine.

If you take SSRIs, consult a physician before taking L-tryptophan or 5-HTP.

If you have manic depression (bipolar), consult a physician before taking L-glutamine as it can lift depression, but trigger mania.

If you have low blood pressure, consult a physician before taking GABA, taurine or niacin.

Amino acids do not need to be taken long term. If you begin to get symptoms such as headache, jittery, etc... discontinue use. If symptoms return, add one amino acid back in at a time to see which one is giving you symptoms. After one month, try going skipping a dose and going off one amino at a time to see how you feel. If not, no need to keep taking them. Do the same at two and three months. Amino acids are foods and not medication. They are safe! But, everyone can react to anything, so just see how your body reacts. Once you go off of them, keep them around for short-term use when needed.

As always, start slow. Take 1,000 mg Vit. C such as Emergen C right away if you have a negative reaction. Discontinue use if you experience discomfort. If you have serious illness or are on medications, consult your physician before taking amino acids. And, to be on the safe side, run you plan by your doctor before you begin any new program, including adding amino acids into your regimen!

It's important to eat plenty of high quality protein, fats and vegetables while taking your amino acids. Always accompany amino acids with a good multivitamin and mineral supplement as well as a B complex.

If you do not get significant relief from amino acid supplementation, you may want to have your adrenals and thyroid tested. Another consideration might be candida and gut disbiosis. And something to test for if you are an alcoholic or sugar addict is a condition called pyroluria. It is common among folks with mood problems, and alcoholism/sugar addiction. Excess pyrrols deplete levels of zinc, vitamin B6, niacin, pantothenic acid and manganese.

You can contact me for more information about this condition and to be tested for it. You can also find all of the information in The Mood Cure on page 303. If you are sugar addicted, it is highly recommended you find out if pyroluria is the cause. The test is inexpensive and the condition is curable. This condition will prevent full response to nutrient intervention. maria@mariarippo.com

Maria Rippo is a Transformational Healing & Wellness practitioner with an online as well as a local practice in Bothell, WA. She is an Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist and Holistic Coach, but mostly, she is a human figuring out how to navigate this thing called life. This article Copyright 2016 by Maria Rippo, all right reserved. To replicate or use any portion of this article, please do so in its entirety including this text or contact the author at maria@mariarippo.com.

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What to Say When Someone Needs Support

4/29/2016

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Have you ever gone through a hard time and someone told you to "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" or just "get it together?" Have you ever been in a place where that was just not possible and you needed support? Or maybe you had a family member or friend in this situation and you wanted to support them, but didn't know how?

The phrase pull yourself up by your bootstraps, was actually coined as something that is not possible to do. But somehow in our culture, it got turned around. Go ahead, grab a pair of boots, put 'em on, and try it for yourself. Pull on the boot straps. Nothin', right? No movement. You can pull all day long and those boots will stay put. We weren't put on this earth to figure out life by ourselves! That phrase was meant as a reminder not to try to 'do it alone.' And that phrase makes even less sense if we don't even own a pair of boots to begin with. This attitude only keeps people who are struggling, struggling more because it deepens the shame about where they are. In my situation, it was just not possible for me to navigate the stormy waters alone.

So, what's the most challenging part of working through a challenging time? For me, after immense loss, it was knowing who I could reach out to that could actually hold space for me, so that I didn't have be alone. I was Humpty Dumpty, totally in pieces spread out so far I didn't even know where to begin looking for the pieces of myself that were scattered. And there were very few people who could hold space for me in that time. Everyone else would say things that, although they meant well, cut me to core. I've learned so much through my challenges, and part of my learning was about how to hold space for others in their challenges, no matter how big or small.

Here are few things people said and will still say when I share my story, that leave me feeling dismissed and unsupported.

The very hardest thing someone would say is, "Everyone has gone through hard times." While that may be true, that does not discount the fact that my time is hard and I am looking for support and empathy. What I learned from this statement, as I looked at the lives of those who would say it, is that they have never hit rock bottom, so they don't actually know what that experience is like. They have not had all sense of stability and security stripped out from underneath them. This gave me compassion for them instead of bitterness and resentment, because how can they be empathetic when they've never been there?

Consider the possibility that everyone is entitled to their story and telling it is actually an important part of their healing. So, when someone tells their story, they are not really looking for you to do anything but listen and empathize. So, if you only remember two things, consider them to be the following: don't discount their pain by saying that everyone goes through hard times and don't feel like you have to do anything to fix other people's situations.

What if we can trust that everyone is right where they need to be and having the experiences they are having in order to learn and grow and ultimately thrive. Our challenges are the catalyst for our deep inner healing. So often, people's purpose is born through their deepest suffering. This is how it worked out for me. I now professionally walk through people's deep pain with them. And I learn a lot from my clients. One of my clients inspired this post! I'd never be able to do that if I had not experienced such deep loss and the inability to put myself back together after my hard fall.

So, what does being supportive look like? Think of it as 'holding space.' You are just going to be a supportive container for this human who is having a human experience.

Some things you might say are,

"Gosh, I'm so sorry. I can understand how hard this must be for you."

"What would feel most supportive to you right now?"

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"I don't even know what to say, but I want you to know how much I care."

"What do you feel you can do to support yourself right now?"

What people need most is to be listened to and validated in their suffering. They need to know that they are not alone. And, if appropriate, they need meals and someone to watch their kids.... or other practical help. Never underestimate how helpful this can be! When we go through hard times, the daily necessities can become a major ordeal.

And if you can't offer a listening ear in the moment, that's OK! Just let them know that it's really important to you to support them and make an appointment for when you can. If someone needs more support than you can give, invite them to find a good counselor.

Something that I learned in my very trying times was that people only have so much bandwidth to support others. Getting professional help made a world of difference for me, and I found more than one professional to help me through it! I also began to surround myself with people who HAD hit rock bottom, because they are much more likely to be able to hold space for you when you struggle, because they've been there.

I use these questions with my kids, too. It gives them a sense of empowerment to know that they can choose how to be supported. If they are 'freaking out,' or 'melting down,' I'll ask them if they'd like to be alone or have me stay with them while they feel how they feel. I don't try to make them feel different from how they feel. If they want me to stay with them, I'll ask how I can best support them. I ask if they want to talk or just be quiet. Do they want to cuddle or just have me in their room? I ask if there's anything I can do to help them feel more comfortable. And most importantly, I ask them what they most need from themselves in this moment. We might talk about where they feel what they feel in their body as well. My younger one is especially open to this question. My teenage boys, not no much!

I don't ask it all at once, and I try to wait for the right timing for each question. I won't typically ask all of these questions in one sitting either. I just feel out each situation and then I look for their deep breath. The deep breath always lets us know that a person's pain feels validated and they feel OK about feeling how they feel. This one is magic with kids! See if you can find out what makes your child feel heard and validated. When they do, magic will happen!

What has helped you the most in your challenging times. I invite you to share in the comments below.

Maria Rippo is a Transformational Healing & Wellness practitioner with an online as well as
a local practice in Bothell, WA. She is an Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist and Holistic Coach, but mostly, she is a human figuring out how to navigate this thing called life. This article Copyright 2016 by Maria Rippo, all right reserved. To replicate or use any portion of this article, please do so in its entirety including this text or contact the author at maria@mariarippo.com.

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Hi, I'm Maria. I practice hypnotherapy and holistic coaching specializing in emotional eating, addictions, depression, anxiety and PTSD. I LOVE what I do! One of my goals is to be in the Guinness Book of World Records for doing headstands in the most places around the globe! I have a love affair with butter and red wine and all REAL food Mother Earth lovingly provides her inhabitants. I collect recipes, hoard books, scavenge for heart rocks and go totally crazy when my 4 kids try to talk to me all at once. My favorite pastime is witnessing people realize the miracles in every moment and reminding myself to do the same. I love silence. I am a lover, a mystic, seeker of the Divine, a Warrior of Light, Alchemist. Welcome!

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