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Am I Codependent?

5/23/2016

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Codependence has donned a variety of descriptions over the years. In the 1980's, it was more commonly used to refer to someone in a relationship with an addict. Currently it is used to describe a loss of sense of self or a disturbance in one's identity or ability to experience intimacy with oneself or another. Common to its core are suppression of feelings and pleasing others at the expense of one's own needs and desires in order to stay in relationship. Another aspect of codependency is blaming shifting onto others, meaning, making others responsible for how I am experiencing life. If I don't have money, it's someone else's fault. If I can't get a good job, someone else is to blame. My relationship isn't working, it's because of my partner, etc...

​Connection and sense of belonging are basic human needs. A codependent person is one who has learned that for them, connection with another human being, means not being able to get their own emotional and/or physical needs met and yet, they have to have connection, so the connection itself becomes the focus and not getting other needs met, is secondary. A codependent person, on a subconscious level, doesn’t believe they deserve to have needs and therefore, will become whatever they perceive that others need them to be in order to be in relationship.

“Codependency is a construct introduced in the 1980s to describe a wide range of relational behaviors that inhibit personal functioning. The codependency movement began within the substance abuse treatment movement with the recognition that not only alcoholics but also the families of alcoholics required treatment." (Krestan & Bepko, 1990). Starting in the mid 1980s, the concept of codependency was extended to anyone who became involved in dysfunctional relationships. Currently, the Proto typical characteristics of a codependent are extreme dependence on and preoccupation with another person, regardless of whether that other person is a substance abuser.” (Cowan,  1995, p. 221 )

Yet another definition of codependency is that not only is it a dependency on others, but also on compulsive behaviors. “Codependency is a pattern of painful dependence on compulsive behaviors and on approval from others in an attempt to find safety, self-worth, and identity.” (Treadway, 1990, p. 39 - 42)

In an article titled, Codependency and the Eating-Disorder client in the Journal, Nursing Clinics of North America, the term codependency is defined as “an adjustment reaction, which may become a developmental disorder, in which persistent patterns of learned, self-defeating behaviors, characterized by denial of one’s own feelings, beliefs, or values, are continually repeated without insight.” (Riley, 1991, 765)

In my own experience of codependency, I lacked the knowledge that I was worthy of having needs and lacked even more knowledge of how to get them met in a healthy way. Underlying this was a belief that I needed others to take care of me because I was not enough to take care of myself. I truly believed that the source of my own suffering was my circumstances as well as my husband and his behavior and yet, I felt completely powerless to do anything about it and felt I had no other choice than to keep the status quo and somehow be content. “In an article from the book Co-Dependency, An Emerging Issue, Robert Subby wrote codependency is "an emotional, psychological, and behavioral condition that develops as a result of an individual's prolonged exposure to, and practice of, a set of oppressive rules - rules which prevent the open expression of feeling as well as the direct discussion of personal and interpersonal problems.’” (Beattie, 1992, p. 30) 
 
Earnie Larsen, another codependency specialist and a pioneer in that field, explains that codependency is "those self-defeating, learned behaviors or character defects that result in a diminished capacity to initiate or to participate in loving relationships." (Beattie, 1992, p. 30) Melody Beattie, a codependency expert and author of Codependent No More, says that, “A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling the other person's behavior.” (Beattie, 1992, p. 34) In my experience, this is not happening on a conscious level. It is truly a cry to get emotional needs met, but the tools to do so are lacking so the codependent person subconsciously tries to ‘force’ others to meet their needs through guilt, neediness or abuse.
So, we’ve moved from believing that a person must be exposed to abuse or addiction in order to become codependent, to realizing that all a person really needs, in order to take on the characteristics of codependence, is oppressive rules, someone else telling them what is good for them and not allowing them to have choice and set healthy limits and boundaries as well as a general loss of their sense of self. This may happen in any relationship and often can come from the experience in the family of origin.

In my work with clients as well as in my training at the Wellness Institute, I’ve come to believe that helping ourselves and our clients become aware of and heal their codependence is foundational for healing. The following is Diane Zimberoff’s Definition, from her article titled, Codependency and Compulsive Addictive Behavior.
"What is codependency? It is two or more people coming together who are not in themselves whole. A child who is raised in a family where he/she does not receive all the nurturing needed to grow up strong and healthy and complete; a child who is raised in a family where the parents are obviously not in control of their lives; a child who is raised in a family where the victim triangle is played and everyone at some point feels like the victim. This is a codependent family. Then this child grows up (physically but not always emotionally) and marries someone who also is not complete inside. 

What is the difference between a codependent person and someone else? A good analogy is a tree. If you plant two trees next to each other, but treat them differently, they will grow differently. For example, if you give one tree all the proper nutrients, water and sunlight, this tree will grow up healthy: it will flourish and produce abundantly. If the other tree does not receive the needed nutrients, sunlight and water, it will grow but not be as hardy and will not produce as abundantly. If it doesn’t receive any nutrients it will wither and die. 
A codependent person is like the tree which did not receive the proper nutrients. And the degree of which the nutrients were absent is the degree of the codependency: the degree to which the person becomes dependent on drugs, alcohol, food or a relationship. This is what addiction is based on. It is that tree constantly trying to “soak up” the nutrients that have been missing for years. Frantically searching for the “proper ingredients” so that it can flourish and produce abundantly like the well tree. 

When an unhealthy tree turns to another unhealthy tree for support, they will lean on each other and collapse. This is what happens with two codependent people who marry. They become more and more dependent on each other and begin to lean on each other. As they lean on each other their branches become so entwined that soon you can no longer tell which is which. Their individuality becomes so tangled up that they themselves don’t know where one ends and the other begins. Eventually, one or both collapse from the weight of both. 

The collapse can take the form of stress-related symptoms: alcohol, drug, tobacco or food abuse. It can take form of a nervous breakdown, physical illness or just constant daily pressures that seem to build up. It may take years to become even vaguely aware that there is a problem. The reason for this is that to a codependent, codependency is so normal and feels so familiar that he/she assumes this is the way it should be."  (Zimberoff 2015, p. 2)

Similarly, the Twelve Steps of Adult Children Workbook defines codependency as, “constantly looking outside of ourselves for love, affirmation, and attention from people who cannot provide it. At the same time, we (codependents) believe that we are not truly worthy of love or attention. In our view, codependence is driven by childhood fear and distorted thinking known as para-alchoholism. We choose dependent people who abandon us and lack clarity in their own lives because it matches our childhood experiences.” (Twelve Steps of ACA Workbook, p. 6) It explains that “the main problem is a mistaken belief that we could have changed our parents.” (Twelve Steps of ACA Workbook, p. 6). It explains that a codependent person has confused love with pity and tend to pity those they can rescue. Codependent people are drawn to people that seem familiar and so they find dysfunctional people and “attempt to heal them or cure them.” (Twelve Steps of ACA Workbook, p. 6)

There are nine core symptoms of codependency. They are: Abandonment fears, lack of self-esteem, shame, unhealthy boundaries, addictions/compulsions, need to control, poor sense of identity, confusion over needs and wants, and family of origin issues. In my own experience of being codependent and traveling the journey of healing it, the sense of helplessness and powerless I experienced, caused me to seek some form of control in my life. I played the role of victim quite skillfully and had many caretakers in my life. I turned to food and exercise because it felt like the only thing I could control. It also served as a distraction from my total sense of helplessness to change anything about my life and on top of that, I was being taught to be content and joyful no matter what, in spite of my circumstances, so I didn’t realize I was allowed to feel how I really felt. I interpreted that as, ‘do nothing about my circumstances and just be happy.’ The only thing that felt happy was being able to control what my body looked like and the food I ate. I got pleasure from eating and it seemed as though every moment of my day was consumed by thoughts of having a perfect body and what food I was going to or not going to eat next.

I also felt totally responsible for other people’s experience of me and of life. I’d do anything to make sure others liked and accepted me. I’d hide my opinions, I looked how I thought they’d like, I was nice, I was funny, I was agreeable, I’d do anything to avoid conflict, but I wasn’t true to my own self. All of this caused immense anxiety and I was eventually diagnosed with manic depression. As I look back now, it makes so much sense that I felt empty and powerless so I turned to food and exercise as my ‘drug of choice’, to try to numb out that feeling.

For me, codependency is about not knowing how to get our needs met in a healthy way. As children, if we grow up in dysfunction where our basic needs cannot be met in healthy ways, we brilliantly learn how to somehow get paid attention to either by being overly demanding and controlling, being helpless and needy or by taking care of others while not getting our own needs met. (See my article on Transforming the Victim Triangle) Often times, the ‘others’ are our parents. We come to believe that it’s our job to make everything ok for our parents and please them any way we can. Codependency is taking responsibility for other people’s experience of life or making others responsible for ours. When we are codependent, we feel powerless because our life is dependent on how others react to us and what our circumstances are and we are left feeling that in order to have a new experience of life, others, or our circumstances need to change.

This is not reality though. In order to experience change, we must change how we are experiencing life. We do this through finding and healing the wounds in our heart, in our spirit, in our soul. Until we do so, we will feel powerless and we’ll have a need to use some form of ‘medication’ to numb ourselves. The best way I've found to this is with an experienced coach or therapist who can help you find and heal your hidden wounds and beliefs, to reclaim your true self and to experience relationships that are interdependent rather than codependent, where you are honored for being you, not made responsible for how others feel, and you largely know that you have everything you need in order to be responsible for your experience of life.

​Sources

Beattie, M. (1992). Codependent no more: How to stop controlling others and start caring for yourself. Center City, Minnesota: Hazleden Foundation.
 
Cowan, G., Bommersbach, M., & Curtis, S. (1995). Codependency, Loss Of Self, And Power. Psychology of Women Quarterly Psychol of Women Q, 221-236.
 
Hartman, D. (2014). Codependency. Internship Weekend 1 (Sept. 2014) by The Wellness Institute in Issaquah, WA, USA.
 
Hartman, D. (2013). Eating Disorders: Signs and Symptoms. 6 Day Hypnotherapy Training (May, 2013) by The Wellness Institute in Issaquah, WA, USA.
 
Krestan, J., & Bepko, C. (1990). Codependency: The social reconstruction of female experience. Smith College Studies in Social Work, 216-232.
 
Mellody, P., & Miller, A. (1989). Facing codependence: What it is, where it comes from, how it sabotages our lives. San Francisco: Perennial Library.
 
Miller, K. D. (1991) Compulsive Overeating. The Nursing Clinics of North America, 26(3), 699-705.
 
Morgan, Jr. J. (1991). What is Codependence? Journal of Clinical Psychology. 47(5). 720 – 729.

O'brien, P., & Gaborit, M. (1992). Codependency: A disorder separate from chemical dependency. J. Clin. Psychol. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 129-136.
 
Riley, Elizabeth, A. (1991) Codependency and the Eating-Disorder Client. The Nursing Clinics of North America, 26(3), 765-775.
 
Roth, G. (2002). Feeding the hungry heart: The experience of compulsive eating. New York: Plume.
 
Subby, R. (1984). Inside the Chemically Dependent Marrige: Denial and Manipulation. In Cruse, S., & Dependence, I. (1984). Co-dependency, an emerging issue: A book of readings reprinted from FOCUS on FAMILY and chemical dependency. Pompano Beach, FL: Health Communications.
 
The twelve steps of adult children: Steps workbook. (2007). Torrance, CA: Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization.
 
Treadway, D., (1990). Codependency: Disease, metaphor, or fad? Family Therapy Networker, 14(1), 39-42.
 
Zimberoff, D. (2014). Codependency and Compulsive-Addictive Behavior. Internship Weekend 1 (Sept. 2014) by The Wellness Institute in Issaquah, WA, USA.

​Maria Rippo is a Transformational Healing & Wellness practitioner with an online as well as a local practice in Bothell, WA. She is an Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist and Holistic Coach, working towards her Master's and PsyD in Transpersonal Psychology, but mostly, she is a human trying to figure out how to navigate this thing called life. This article Copyright 2016 by Maria Rippo, all right reserved. To replicate or use any portion of this article, please do so in its entirety including this text or contact the author at [email protected].
 
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Alive and Full of Life Guided Visualization for Healthy Habits

5/22/2016

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Your subconscious mind is 90 - 95% of your mind. So often, we rely on our conscious mind in order to make changes, but our habits are programmed in our subconscious mind. I created this guided visualization for health and vitality to help reprogram your subconscious mind so you can make supportive changes in your life. Listen daily to change the experience you have with yourself about making life-giving shifts!
Maria Rippo is a Transformational Healing & Wellness practitioner with an online as well as a local practice in Bothell, WA. She is an Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist and Holistic Coach, working towards her Master's and PsyD in Transpersonal Psychology, but mostly, she is a human figuring out how to navigate this thing called life. This article Copyright 2016 by Maria Rippo, all right reserved. To replicate or use any portion of this article, please do so in its entirety including this text or contact the author at [email protected].
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Transforming the Triangle of Victimhood/Drama

5/21/2016

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When I was first introduced to this triangle by our therapist, Garth, I found myself most often in the place of the victim. In fact, Garth told me something like, in all his twenty years as a therapist, he had NEVER seen someone so stuck in the victim role. I really hated to know that, but if I were going to find a new way to experience life, that had become a sort of hell for me, I was going to look honestly at how I was trying to get my needs met in ways that were NOT serving me or anyone else.

Commonly referred to as the Victim or Drama Triangle, knowledge of this "holy trinity" of dysfunction, is necessary if one is to move beyond dysfunctional ways of getting needs met.

​I have seen understanding of this triangular dynamic change more lives than I can count. So, what is it? It is a picture of the roles we take on as children in order to get our needs met, to be paid attention to, and to matter. It is present wherever codependence exists. Codependence describes anyone in a relationship, where neither participant is living from a place of wholeness, but instead, makes others responsible for their experience of life or feels responsible for other people's experience of life. That can manifest in different ways, namely as a helpless victim who believes they need others to take care of them, as a rescuer who takes care of everyone but themselves or as the persecutor who seeks to control others through the use of guilt, shame or raging. Underneath these dynamics is fear and shame, a sense of powerlessness (feeling overwhelmed and disconnected) and so the motivation in all of this is to feel powerful and connected with others. The presence of codependency has been found to lead to a loss of self and of personal power which can affect a person in any area of their life.

​Why might one take on these roles? It's all about how we, as children, learned to be paid attention to. We must be paid attention to as humans. In orphanages, where babies and children have their physical needs met, but not their emotional needs, they die of a condition called failure to thrive. So, from the brilliance of a child, we learn the only way we can to get our needs met, either by being helpless, taking care of everyone or through intimidation. All of these roles are really the 'victim.' And all humans, to some extent use these methods to get their needs met. Take, for example, the ​people pleaser. ​They take care of everyone else and never say no. What do they get from this behavior? Acceptance. Belonging is a survival need that humans have. We learn to do whatever it takes so that we will not be abandoned, so people will like and accept us and so we can belong. Marshall Rosenberg, author of Non-Violent Communication says that all anyone is ever really doing is saying, "please." "Please like me, please accept me, please hear me, please let me belong, please notice me..." But we have found ways to do this at the expense of never getting our true needs met. 

​Lack of boundaries is what keeps the cycle alive. There is an underlying fear that if I ask for my true needs to be met, others will leave me and I will be alone. So, as a victim, I find rescuers who get their needs met by taking care of others, or as a rescuer, I take care of victims to meet my need of taking care of others. As a persecutor, I feel in control by shaming and threatening others so they do what I need them to do. In the end, no one ever really gets their needs met this way. What we are left with is the illusion that we are in control and connected with others, when we really aren't. We are not even connected with our own selves, which is the root cause of all of this, a broken relationship with ourselves. It's about feeling helpless and powerless and doing whatever it takes to get others to do what we need. And in the end, it only creates more separation from others and our own selves.


When we are on the triangle, we are also 'in our head.' For me that means we are identifying with the ego rather than with the truth of who we are. The ego believes in all that we are not and who we think we are supposed to be. Its identity is, "I'm not enough, I don't belong, I'm unlovable, I'm incapable, I have to prove my worth, I'm inadequate, I'm damaged, My existence doesn't matter, I don't matter..." The purpose of the ego is self-preservation. It works hard to hide these 'truths,' by defending, proving, comparing and competing. When we are playing our roles to get our needs met, its how we learned to survive and when we stay in those roles, our only hope is survival. If we want to move to thriving, we must take quite possibly the longest journey of our lives, thirteen long inches, down to our heart center where our truth resides. This involves healing the false beliefs of the ego (with a guide such a coach or therapist, knowledgeable about healing in this way) and allows us to get our true needs met.

​When we are "in our heads," we are defending, proving, blaming and comparing, to name a few. This causes others to also put their defenses up and we end up arguing about who's right, who's wrong and not getting anything accomplished. Being right feels powerful. It gives us a sense of control, so acting from this place is about feeling powerful because we feel powerless (overwhelmed and disconnected).

​When we act from our hearts, or our higher selves, or spirit self, we communicate how we feel, what we need, and we have healthy limits as well as boundaries. We know how to keep what is serving us, in, and what is not, out.

​When we come into our hearts we can clearly communicate what it is we need. We know that we are responsible for meeting our own needs. We are vulnerable. We take full responsibility for our own experience of life and leave others to be responsible for theirs. We are clear about what works for us and what doesn't and we let others know so they can make choices about being in our lives or not. In doing so we have moved from being codependent to being interdependent. This transforms the dynamic of the triangle. Here's how that has looked in my own life:
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The goal in understanding the triangle, is not to see where everyone else is on it as much as it is to see ourselves on it. It's sneaky. Becoming conscious of our own dysfunction is how we empower ourselves. We will get on the triangle so the goal is not to stay off of it, though that would be nice. It's to notice when we are on it so we can choose whether to stay or to come into our hearts.

​According to the HeartMath Institute, the vibration of our heart is 5,000 times stronger than that of our head. We can make connections when we come from our hearts. Everyone can get their needs met. And that's what we are trying to do in the first place! After all, we are all just kids, dressed up adult suits, appealing for love, desperately wanting to matter, to be noticed, to belong. When we do it in childish ways from a place of unhealed fear and shame, everyone suffers and we continue to survive instead of thrive. When we become child-like ... curious, playful, deep-feeling, spontaneous, undefended, risk-taking, present, accepting, explorative, unconcerned with people's judgements, we can begin to thrive. In my experience, it takes time and deep healing of our subconscious and unconscious beliefs, but it is possible. I am living proof!!

​Oh and just a side note, --ain't nobody gonna like it when you jump out of the triangle game. When you stop playing this childish, rather than child-like game, people in your life will feel very threatened and will quite possibly project their fear and shame onto you as anger and rejection because they feel out of control and confused (disconnected and overwhelmed). This is not about you! And it's fairly inevitable at the beginning. But, don't lose hope, as you heal these patterns you will draw others into your life that are also healing them and you open the door for much deeper and more fulfilling relationships!  

Maria Rippo is a Transformational Healing & Wellness practitioner with an online as well as a local practice in Bothell, WA. She is an Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist and Holistic Coach, working towards her Master's and PsyD in Transpersonal Psychology, but mostly, she is a human trying to figure out how to navigate this thing called life. This article Copyright 2016 by Maria Rippo, all right reserved. To replicate or use any portion of this article, please do so in its entirety including this text or contact the author at [email protected].


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Eliminate Cravings with Amino Acids

5/20/2016

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So you're trying to make changes. You're using hypnosis, mindful eating, and all the will-power you can muster up, your habits are changing, but the cravings monster is still alive and well inside of you. I know how you feel! Even though I am a hypnotherapist, specializing in healing emotional eating, and have had HUGE changes in my neural programming around food, my body and the healing of my own emotional eating, there are still times when something like a glass of wine or a cup of coffee seems to call my name until I give in to its illusion of happiness... like, a lot of times.

​I see massive shifts in my clients too. But, there seemed to be a missing link, a physiological issue pulling them at times, to go back to their old ways and sometimes, its irresistible, and its frustrating for them and they get sucked back into a binge or eating foods that no longer serve them and keep them stuck right where they don't want to be.

​This left me scratching my head for answers. I had read
The Diet Cure ​a while back but the information seemed confusing. I recently got a book by the same author, ​Julia Ross, called ​The Mood Cure. ​I then purchased her program on healing addictions and I am becoming more and more convinced that amino acids can make a huge difference in the ability to make lasting changes. I've been experimenting with them with my clients and am seeing amazing things happen.

​According to Ross, the first important thing to ask yourself is what is your substance of choice doing for you? Is it calming? Is it numbing your emotional pain? Do you use it to de-stress? To escape? Is it an upper? A Downer? How is it that you feel while thinking about, partaking in and after using this substance?

​And next, what substances do you turn to for reasons other than physical hunger? Coffee, chocolate, processed carbohydrates, salty foods, sweet foods, starchy foods, fatty foods, artificially sweetened products. What mood states are you looking for these substances to give you?



The fact is that you use (these substances) to feel better, not to wreck your life or anyone else's. Don't let shame keep you from exploring why you use them... It doesn't matter, at first, which specific mood-coping substance is your problem. What matter is how that substance changes your mood chemistry. ​​Does it give you a lift, an energy surge? Does it give you confidence or a sense of humor? Does it relax you, take the edge off,, or allow you to go to sleep?


​Following are Ross's findings and can be found in both of her books I've mentioned. I highly recommend both if you struggle with cravings.

If you overeat to help you cope, you might benefit from taking D-Phenylalanine (DPA) or, if you need energy, DL-Phenylalanine (DLPA) along with L-Glutamine. If you still need more energy, add L-Tyrosine. Adding 5-HTP can be helpful as well for PM cravings. With amino acids, you start with a lower dose. If you don't notice immediate differences in levels of cravings and desire to binge, you can begin to increase your dose.

​You can take 500 - 1500 mg of L-Glutamine 3x per day to stop sweet, starch and alcohol cravings. You can also
take this when you notice a craving, to stop it. If this is the case, simply open the capsule and dump the contents into your mouth.
​Amino acids should be taken 1/2 hour before or an hour and a half, after meals to be the most effective. Take this upon arising in the morning, between breakfast and lunch and between lunch and dinner or at time of craving.

​500 mg of DPA or DLPA can be taken at the same time as the L-Glutamine to give you a
sense of comfort and pleasure.

​5-HTP, 50 mg especially if sleep is an issue, can be taken between breakfast and lunch, between lunch and dinner and at bedtime. If you still can't fall asleep within 15 minutes, take another.

​​Also, brain chemistry is very important to consider. If you use substances to
relieve depression, you may be low in serotonin. Symptoms might include: negativity, depression with dark thoughts, worried, anxious, shy, low self-esteem, obsessive thoughts, obsessive behaviors, SAD, PMS moodiness, irritable, impatient, angry, panic/anxiety, PTSD, phobias, hate hot weather, night owl, insomnia, find relief through exercise, fibromyalgia, TMJ, suicidal thoughts/plans. If you tend to relieve these symptoms through sweets, starches, fatty foods, chocolate, alcohol, marijuana, tobacco or Ecstasy than you might benefit from taking 5-HTP or L-Tryptophan.

​If you have the kind of depression that you might describe as the "blahs," you might be low in catecholemines. The symptoms might include lack of physical or mental energy, lack of drive, enthusiasm, difficulty focusing/concentrating, need a lot of sleep, slow to wake up, easily chilled, cold hands or feet, tend to put on weight easily. And the substances that tend to feel helpful are sugar, chocolate, caffeine, aspartame, alcohol, cocaine, other uppers, marijuana, tobacco, and opiates. If this is you, you might benefit from trying L-Tyrosine, L-phenylalanine, Omega 3 fatty acids and SAM-e.

​If you use addictive substances to calm down or relieve stress, you may be GABA deficient. The symptoms may include feeling driven, overworked, pressured, too many deadlines, have trouble relaxing or loosening up, tend to be stiff, uptight, tense, easily upset or frustrated, snappy, easily overwhelmed, just can't get it all done, weak, shaky, sensitive to bright light, noise, and/or odors, use smoking, drinking, eating, or drugs to relax, calm down, worse if you skip meals or go too long without eating. And the substances you tend to use might include sweets, starches, alcohol, tobacco, marijuana, painkillers, tranquilizers. You might benefit from GABA, taurine, glycine, glutamine, chromium, and adrenal support.

​If you use substances to relieve emotional and/or physical pain, you might be low in endorphins. Symptoms might include: being very sensitive to emotional or physical pain, tear up or cry easily, avoid dealing with painful issues, find it hard to get over losses or get through grieving, crave pleasure, comfort, reward, enjoyment or numbing. The substances you use may include: sweets, starches, chocolate, alcohol or tobacco, heroin, or marijuana. You may benefit from using DL-Phenylalanine (DLPA), D-Phenylalanine (DPA), B Vitamins, Vitamin C, magnesium, and 5-HTP.



In addition, its important to support your body nutritionally. You can do this by taking a multi-vitamin/mineral supplement. Email [email protected] for my recommendations on brand. Calcium 250 - 500 mg/day, Magnesium 200 - 400 mg/day, Vitamin D, 400 IU minimum/day, B Complex 10 - 25 mm, Vitamin C with bioflavonoids (1,000mg Vitamin C and 300 - 500 mg bioflavonoids) and fish oil.


For many addicts, sugar/processed carbs, especially, you probably are low in all of these brain chemicals and will benefit from taking all of them. On page 127, in The Diet Cure, Ross recommends the following dosages:

​To stop sweet cravings, and enhance relaxation:
​L-Glutamine, 500mg - 1500mg upon arising, between breakfast and lunch and between lunch and dinner.

​To destress and relax muscles:
​GABA, 100 - 500 mg or GABA with taurine and glycine, 100 - 300 mg between breakfast and lunch, between lunch and dinner and at bedtime.

​To energize and focus:
​L-Tyrosine, 500 - 2,000mg upon arising, between breakfast and lunch, and between lunch and dinner.

To enhance feelings of comfort and pleasure and to reduce pain:
​DLPA or DPA 500 - 1000 mg upon arising, between breakfast and lunch and between lunch and dinner.

​To improve mood, sleep and PM Cravings:
​5-HTP, 50 - 100 mg or L-Tryptophan, 500 - 1000 mg (if one doesn't work, try the other) between breakfast and lunch, between lunch and dinner and at bedtime. 

​800 mg of SAM-e can be taken upon arising and between breakfast and lunch.


Ross list the precautions for taking amino acids as follows:

​If you have high blood pressure, consult a physician before taking tyrosine, DL-phenylalanine, or L-phenylalanine.

​If you take MAO inhibitors, consult a physician before taking tyrosine, DL-phenylalanine, or L-phenylalanine.

​If you take MAO inhibitors for depression, consult a physician before taking L-tryptophan, or 5-HTP.

​If you have an overactive thyroid, consult a physician before taking tyrosine, DL-phenylalanine or L-phenylalanine.

​If you have Hashimoto's thyroiditis, consult a physician before taking tyrosine, DL-phenylalanine, or L-phenylalanine.

​​If you have PKU, consult a physician before taking tyrosine, DL-phenylalanine, or L-phenylalanine.

If you get migraine headaches, consult a physician before taking tyrosine, DL-phenylalanine, or L-phenylalanine or 5-HTP.

If you have melanoma, consult a physician before taking tyrosine.

If you take SSRIs, consult a physician before taking L-tryptophan or 5-HTP.

​If you have manic depression (bipolar), consult a physician before taking L-glutamine as it can lift depression, but trigger mania.

If you have low blood pressure, consult a physician before taking GABA, taurine or niacin.

Amino acids do not need to be taken long term. If you begin to get symptoms such as headache, jittery, etc... discontinue use. If symptoms return, add one amino acid back in at a time to see which one is giving you symptoms. After one month, try going skipping a dose and going off one amino at a time to see how you feel. If not, no need to keep taking them. Do the same at two and three months. Amino acids are foods and not medication. They are safe! But, everyone can react to anything, so just see how your body reacts. Once you go off of them, keep them around for short-term use when needed.

​As always, start slow. Take 1,000 mg Vit. C such as Emergen C right away if you have a negative reaction. Discontinue use if you experience discomfort. If you have serious illness or are on medications, consult your physician before taking amino acids. And, to be on the safe side, run you plan by your doctor before you begin any new program, including adding amino acids into your regimen!

​It's important to eat plenty of high quality protein, fats and vegetables while taking your amino acids. Always accompany amino acids with a good multivitamin and mineral supplement as well as a B complex.

​If you do not get significant relief from amino acid supplementation, you may want to have your adrenals and thyroid tested. Another consideration might be candida and gut disbiosis. And something to test for if you are an alcoholic or sugar addict is a condition called pyroluria. It is common among folks with mood problems, and alcoholism/sugar addiction. Excess pyrrols deplete levels of zinc, vitamin B6, niacin, pantothenic acid and manganese. 

​You can contact me for more information about this condition and to be tested for it. You can also find all of the information in ​The Mood Cure​ on page 303. If you are sugar addicted, it is highly recommended you find out if pyroluria is the cause. The test is inexpensive and the condition is curable. This condition will prevent full response to nutrient intervention. [email protected]

Maria Rippo is a Transformational Healing & Wellness practitioner with an online as well as a local practice in Bothell, WA. She is an Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist and Holistic Coach, but mostly, she is a human figuring out how to navigate this thing called life. This article Copyright 2016 by Maria Rippo, all right reserved. To replicate or use any portion of this article, please do so in its entirety including this text or contact the author at [email protected].


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    Hi, I'm Maria. I practice hypnotherapy and holistic coaching specializing in emotional eating, addictions, depression, anxiety and PTSD. I LOVE what I do! One of my goals is to be in the Guinness Book of World Records for doing headstands in the most places around the globe! I have a love affair with butter and red wine and all REAL food Mother Earth lovingly provides her inhabitants. I collect recipes, hoard books, scavenge for heart rocks and go totally crazy when my 4 kids try to talk to me all at once. My favorite pastime is witnessing people realize the miracles in every moment and reminding myself to do the same. I love silence. I am a lover, a mystic, seeker of the Divine, a Warrior of Light, Alchemist. Welcome!

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