What's Up with Food Obsessions and Why do We Eat When We are Not Hungry?

"Your relationship to food is an unexpected path to almost
everything. It is a doorway, not a wall, an opening, not a closing. All that you
believe about love, change, joy and possibility is revealed in how, when and
what you eat. The world is on your plate." - Geneen Roth


I love reminding myself about this, especially when I find myself distracted
by my love affair with food. In her amazing book, Women, Food and God,
Geneen Roth gets to the root of what those obesessions are about and
surprisingly, food is not the issue, and either is lack of will-power.

I wanted to share some
excerpts from the book that I thought you might find helpful! I think I like it so
much because I have for sure struggled with food obsessions and still do.
Certain foods can tend to call my name relentlessly at times. I practiced
natural health for many years before realizing that the reason I still liked to
grab that pint of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream and eat
the whole darn thing in one sitting was about more than just a craving for
sugar. As I have gotten older (and have gotten over that particular craving), I
see that during the most stressful times of my life, my issues with food
obsessions escalated. That is partly why I love so much to cleanse. It is a
break from having to decide what I will and won't eat. Yes, I eat healthy, but
yummy food still takes me to another place and that is really what it's all
about. These obsessions allow us to 'bolt.' If you do not have food issues, you
may have other obsessions such as shopping, alcohol, cleaning, organizing,
exercising, whatever it is. Obsessions help escape from what we are truly
feeling. Any compulsion is "an attempt to avoid the absence (of love, comfort,
knowing what to do) when we find ourselves in the desert of a particular moment,
feeling, situation."


"The relentless attempts to be thin take you further and further away
from what could actually end your suffering; getting back in touch with who you
really are. Your true nature. Your essence. Women turn to food when they are
not hungry becasue they ARE hungry for somehting they can't name; a connection
to what is beyond the concerns of daily life. Something deathless, something
sacred. But replacing the hunger for Divine connection with Double Stuff Oreos
is like giving a glass of sand to a person dying of thirst. It creates more
thirst, more panic. Combine the utter inefficacy of dieting with the lack of
spiritual awareness and we have generations of mad, ravenous, self-loathing
women. We have become so obsessed with getting rid of our obsession, with riding
on top of our suffering and ignoring its inherent message, that we lose the
pieces of ourselves waiting to be found beneath."


For me, and for most of us, learning how to get honest with my emotions 
was simply not part of my upbringing. Emotions scare us so we turn to things
that give us an escape from them. We numb ourselves with food, but food cannot
truly solve any other problem than hunger. It's interesting because I really
don't like junk food, but I still find myself craving to eat when I am not
hungry whether it's squash with raw butter or my almond milk protein shake, I
still look for comfort from food.


I am always peeling back the layers of my emotions that have been
stuffed deep down inside me for eons, that I didn't even realize I had stuffed.
Over the last five years I have been learning how to unstuff all the fluff down
in me that causes pain. When I opened up to feeling my feelings, they all
started to come bubbling up, little by little and I acknowledge them. I cry, I
laugh, I validate the feeling that at some point in my life I thought I was not
supposed to feel. These feelings get stuffed down deep and they stay there. They
do not go away just because we ignore them. They end up causing pain and health
  problems. The worst offenders are bitterness, sadness, hopelessness and
  despair. I used to just be sad and hopeless until I realized that I actually
  could focus on the solutions to my issues instead of being in that state of
  panic all the time.


So, what is one to do? "Staying where you are with what you are
feeling or seeing or sensing is the first step in ending the obsession with
food. And although it seems as if ending the obsession is what we all want to
do, we actually want to keep it more. And for good reasons. Obsession gives you
something to do besides having your heart shattered by heart-shattering
events... obsession gives you a plane ticket out of a particular kind of
heartbreak." If you have no idea how to let go of these painful feelings, the
answer is, "you allow yourself to sob, to heave, to feel as if your heart has a
boulder crashing through it... You begin to notice that at the end of every day
your are still alive. And you notice that when you don't use food to shut
yourself down, to leave your body, you actually feel more alive. That feeling
anything, even grief, is different from what you thought it would be. That when
you don't leave yourself, a different life is lived. One that includes
vulnerability and tenderness and fragility and changes the landscape- makes it
verdant, wider, breathtaking-of life as you know it."


I noticed that after my fourth child was born, my father-in-law passed
away, my dad had a massive stroke, we lost our home and went through bankruptcy
and almost lost our marriage, that I had food obsessions, even while on a raw
food diet. I am learning how to feel my feelings now rather than burry them deep
inside by escaping to another place through food. I am learning to eat when I
am hungry only and stop when I am satisfied and not to place a bunch of rules
on myself or wake up mad at myself for having enjoyed an extra glass of wine
the night before and maybe some sugar too. I love to eat healthy, it makes me
feel good, but I don't want to beat myself up when I drink wine or eat a
special dessert. Eating is one of life's greatest pleasures. It is meant to be
enjoyed. The key is learning to use food for the reasons it serves, to nourish
us and yes, to enjoy. Eat with "gusto, enjoyment and pleasure," but do it when
you are hungry, and deal with your emotions when you are
not.


Ask yourself why you want to eat when you are not hungry. Begin to
take note of where you physically feel your feelings. Ask yourself what eating
will do for you right now. Am I eating to nourish my body or my soul? Food does
not nourish your soul, even though it feels like it does in the moment, and in
some ways, I am sure it does, but not in the sense that we are looking for it
to. When we eat when we are not hungry, we are looking to fill a void that food
is incapable of filling. So, realize this and you will have found the key to
unlock the door to freedom from your obsessions. No need for a scale to obsess
over. No need to count calories and fat grams. Eat when you are hungry and stop
before you get too full. Eat a lot of veggies. Focus on what you WILL eat to
nourish your body and stop making all kinds of crazy rules to live
by.


Get to know yourself and laugh at the funny parts of who you are. Find
your gifts. Use them to bless others. Enjoy your passions. Love yourself. Get
rid of all that bitterness and judgment of others, it only hurts you. And, eat
with gratitude to the Creator when you are hungry and stop when you are
satisfied.


If you'd like to read the book you can find it new or used
here


I offer holistic health coaching if you would like to take a deeper look at what
you might be trying to get from food other than physical nourishment overcome
emotional eating. I do this over the phone or Skype. I
have helped many people become free of this heartbreaking bondage to food. You
are not alone if you struggle with it. I understand
fully! Click the booking tab above for a complimentary 'Cravings' session!

[email protected]

xo
Maria